Insomniac depression

It's close to four in the morning. I'm still awake. Why..?

as time flies by, I'm sitting here in my room all alone. Thinking of you. I miss you. I miss your voice. I can't sleep. Counting sheep's used to help, but now it doesn't have any effect.

I know last night was my fault. I can clearly see that I was wrong. I was pissed because i thinked of something. I didn't wanna think. It just came to my mind like a gun that was shot right trough my head without me even realising that im already dead. And because of what i thinked, it made you pissed. I'm sorry

when you called i didn't wanna talk. i rejected your call, so i said talk online. there's a reason why i wanted to talk online though. before you called, you replied me kinda late, and then to see that you were having conversations with Malcolm made me pissed and jealous. i know I'm freaking childish. how stupid of me. I'm sorry

then you called saying that you cant talk before bed. i blamed you. again im sorry

now I'm looking at my phone, pondering at the words you said
"we still can text"
but i dont know what to text out. i just want you, beside me. i was waiting maybe you'll text first. im still waiting. as i pace my room trying to tire myself. i still cant fall asleep babe. i need you.
your voice is my lullaby, you telling me how your day went is my bedtime story. I miss you.

my heart is aching and I'm tired, but I'm still awake. why am i so obsessed with you? why am i so emotional?

the words to end this blog are the same words that i text you as i try to fall asleep..

I Love You Babe.


♥