feelings leads to an empty valley...

i met a winding road thats taking me to places that i didnt want to go.. and in a blink of an eye.. im holding on to something.. i dont even know why
i tried to read between the lines, i tried to look in your eyes.. i want a simple explanation for what im feeling inside.. im trying to find a way out.. gotta get out.. maybe there is a way out.. but i cant move a muscle i cant even pick up the phone.. i dont know why..
i just found out why..

i was love struck..




but i have something doubting inside.. and..

i wish i could tell you..

do you know your voice was the soundtrack of my summer..? do you know your unlike any other..? do you know that your eyes are the brightest of all the colors..? i would never love another.. i wish u were the thunder and im the rain..

now im walking on a tight rope.. im wrapped up in vines..
im confused on my feelings.. on what i should do..

so this post goes to you.. even if you dont know who YOU are..

i think its time to let it go.. my feelings towards you.. its hard for me to do it.. but its for the greater good..

i think you knew that i liked you, that i loved you.. everyone said its obvious.. well, i cant really tell if it was obvious or not..

the reason why i didnt confess my feelings was because.. i didnt want to make you hurt.. i didnt want you to end up hating me for being with you..
i was thinking.. thinking very long the other day.. that im not good in keeping relationships steady.. i dont know why though..
so.. im going to do what is best for you.. even if it hurts me..
i know i cant forget you.. i will still love you.. ill still miss you.. missing you more each second..

but i dont think i can let go.. it will still be just the same.. continue repeating like before.. i will still love you.. i still cant forget bout you..
i dont know if i should let my feelings go..

im trapped in a valley with my feelings.. im stuck in a middle of nowhere drowned by my feelings.. i dont know what to do..

..i still love you.. thats all i know..

holding on to hopes that doesnt even exist..
confused and doesnt know what to do..

Tagged By Elean Jie.. (34 questions)

What have you been doing recently?
* talking online.. wondering..

2. Do you ever turn your handphone off?
* when it dies.. then its off..

3. What happened at 10am today?
* i was still sleeping..??

4. When did you last cry?
* a week ago or so..

5 . Believe in Fate/Destiny?
* yeap..

6 . What do you want in life now?
* you.. (: getting a degree in graphics.. or computing..

7 . Do you carry an umbrella when it rains or just put up your hood?
* when its heavy.. umbrella.. when it drizzles.. hood..

8. What's your favourite thing to do on bed ?
* this is a dumb sick question.. o.0 read.. text... talk on the phone.. play guitar.. sleep..

9. What bottoms are you wearing now?
* boxers..

10 . What are the nicest things in your inbox? -
* cant tell.. privacy..

11. Do you tend to make relationships complicated?
* nope..

12 . Are you wearing anything borrowed from anyone?
*nope..

13 . What was the last movie you caught?
* cant remember.. prison break season 4.. the whole season in a day.. :P

14 . What are you proud of ?
* my talent.. well.. cant be really proud of it tho.. God gave it to me..

15 . What does the oldest text msg in your inbox says and who is it from?
* last year.. its says.. "night babe.. love you.. (etc)" from some girl from sri KL

16. What was the last song you sang out loud?
* thunder by boys like girls..

17. Do you have any nicknames?
* fer fer.. :P

18 . What does the newest text msg says and who is it from?
* mom.. help take her stuff..

19 . What time did you go to sleep last night?
* 3 something.. idk..

20. Are you currently happy?
* kinda..

21 . Who gives you the best advice?
* erm.. my frenz and parents.. depends

22 . Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can ?
* yea.. xD

23 . Who do you talked to on phone last night?
* supposed to talk to joyce.. but end up talking to grace..

24 . Is something bugging you right now?
* yea..

25 . Who is the last person to make you laugh?
* erm... grace..?

26.Do you like yourself?
* duh..

27.Do you think you are stupid sometimes?
* not stupid.. but childish..

28.Who is your best friend?
* someone.. (:

29.What will you do if you like that boy?
* im not gay.. haha... well.. if i liked that girl.. ill try not to be so obvious in liking her..

30.Who are your favourite stars?
* i dont learn astrology..

31.You hate your mother sometimes in some ways?
* never.. she brought me to this world.. how can i hate her..

32.Do you had even stead before?
* whats even stead..?

33.what type of boy do you like?
* me not gay..

34.Now are you single/attached?
* single..

when love comes around.. it plays my feelings..

can i tell you how i feel..? tell me if i can.. i want to know more about you.. your secrets.. tell me if i can..
i think i love you.. but i cant be sure.. i think im in love with you.. but im to secure..
i dont wanna tell you.. i dont think you'd understand.. i wish i can come to you with a rose on my hand..
i think i love you my dear friend.. but i dont think you love me back.. what is wrong with me..?
i dont wanna tell you i love you.. because i think you'll see.. guess im dumb to think of that..
my rose at hand and a feelings in my heart.. i wish i could let it out to you..

the reason why im not telling you yet is because i dont want to make you hurt if i think my feelings is just playing with me.. i dont even know whether its an infatuation or real..
your like a precious angel and i dont wanna influence you on stuffs that i get into..
i dont want you to be the one i throw all my feelings on if im down, sad or mad..

"i was born to tell you i love you" but isnt that a song already.. i know im not that good in being original.. but i think i do love you.. i think i really was born to say i love you..

i think i really do..

Creo que te amo, creo que hacer ♥

Chocolates for you (:

Yesterday, mom just went in the operation room around 6.. was so worried that anything might happen.. thanks to Haze making me chill with a game of truth or truth.. got to keep my mind off of it for a while.. and Justine for listening to me when i was emo-ing for no reason..
the last i talk to mom was around evening.. then she had to go in.. then waited till 11 something till the phone rang when it was almost 12.. dad called me up saying that the doctor said moms okay.. and shes still unconscious.. thats a good thing to hear.. (:
thanks guys for praying... and thank you God for answering..


will be going to see mom today.. cant wait.. (:
kayz.. i gotta pack up and wait for my neighbor to arrive..
will update more soon..
cheers..

boxes of chocolates for you (:
your favorites..

blue sky, happy moments

hey guys.. been long since i updated my blog..
was very lazy to update it.. hehe..

Sports Fiesta just ended.. Team C got 1st place.. wootz.. Who would've guessed.. it was fun today.. slept over at Kelvins house.. actually we barely slept.. was out till 4.. then went home and crashed.. woke up like super duper late.. then arrived there late some more..

so yea.. sports fiesta was awesome.. (:

yesterday had a shock when dad called me up.. mom got admitted into the hospital.. i was at kelv's house when he called.. why so sudden..? why must this happen..? dad said the doctor said she had appendicitis or in-phlegmed ovary.. and needs to do an operation.. i hate it when im not at home and someone is in the hospital suffering.. i hope your okay mom.. i hope you'll be fine when i visit you.. the worst thing is i dont have transport there.. my dad is out station.. what a suckish day to be in.. i just hope that God's with her when im not there.. i really miss you mom.. i wanna see you.. haih..

well.. actually sports day wasnt that great tho.. i was so darn worried bout mommy.. and then haze lost her stuff.. stupid human who stole it.. dont they know that people has important stuffs in their bags.. hope they'll fall in a public toilet where theres full of shit..

hmm.. dont really know wat to blog about apart from sadness and sucky day.. i dont know why.. i feel weirded out.. end empty inside.. its like theres a space in my heart filled with only air and its so free and empty.. kinda bad thing tho.. well.. i think im gonna go sleep early to end this day..

if only clouds could carry me to see you;
your so far but your stil in my heart..

mom i love you.. fer misses you